


Call Your Shawty and Tell Him You Found a New Man

by Lilbreck



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, Semi-Dark Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-11
Updated: 2016-02-11
Packaged: 2018-05-19 16:09:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5973604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilbreck/pseuds/Lilbreck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Caroline and Klaus are in the midst of a "Year of Living Human" when Valentine's Day doesn't go as planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Call Your Shawty and Tell Him You Found a New Man

**Author's Note:**

  * For [queenvampirebarbie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenvampirebarbie/gifts).



> Happy Valentine's Day, queenvampirebarbie. While this is not actually a human AU (and definitely not the time-travel you were originally wanting), I'm hoping I managed to write something you'll enjoy.

She'd had a plan. Well, it was more of a vague idea that had started out as an accidental challenge issued by Enzo, but that was beside the point. The point was, Caroline had been fully committed to going a complete year living as a human in a new city. She had lasted ten months. Right up until February 14th, to be exact. 

It hadn't been Klaus that tempted her to stray from her plans. He had actually been... surprisingly supportive. Of course, that may have had something to do with the fact that he'd managed to convince her that, since she was pretending that she hadn't done anything awful, it would only be fair that she pretend the same for him. 

"Honestly, sweetheart, it's only fair. You'd do the same for any of your other friends, wouldn't you?"

He'd even been living as a human right along with her. An oddly rich human with no visible means of support or source of income, yes, but it was still a lot for Klaus. It was a lot more than her other friends had offered.

Three months into their experiment, he had convinced her to go on a real date. Three days after that, they were sleeping together. Often. Very Often. That was the one aspect of their lives neither one had even attempted to pretend to be human in. While he occasionally did grumble about how much easier things would be if he could compel the people around him, or how, when he was in a particularly contrary mood, he'd point out that they were still drinking blood and weren't _really_ going full human, he had actually settled into their life very well.

"What's not to love, Caroline. I suddenly find myself without a care in the world save how to keep the woman I love happy. I couldn't ask for a better way to spend a year."

Caroline had also settled in well. At least for the first nine months. And then Christopher had moved into the neighborhood. Christopher was a vampire and had, relatively quickly, figured out that she was too. Of course, he hadn't figured out that Klaus was anything other than a run of the mill vampire, but it would be a bit odd if he would have made the mental leap to original hybrid when they first met. 

He hadn't figured out how old and strong Klaus was either. That was the only explanation for the fact that he constantly belittled him when Caroline was around. Under normal circumstances, that would have earned him death, but since Klaus was all in on playing human with Caroline, Christopher lived. Unfortunately, he also constantly hounded Caroline, even going so far as to tell her that it was inevitable that she would leave Klaus for him. 

He would show up 'coincidentally' to the same movie theaters and restaurants as them while they were trying to enjoy some quality time together. She had long since run out of new and creative ways to tell him to fuck off without breaking the 'living human' code she had set up. Maybe he was the type of asshole who thought that was her way of saying "chase me, big boy!"

However, he had gone too far this time. She had planned the perfect Valentine's Day, complete with a reservation to a _very_ exclusive restaurant –no compulsion, and using Klaus' money didn't count as a vampire activity-- as well as a specially made heart-shaped cake, just big enough for two, to be followed by her finally telling him that she loved him. There may have also been some racy lingerie tucked away in the back of her closet. However, when she called to check on the reservations, the lady on the phone –and the manager when she insisted on talking to him-- repeated the name Sharpe back to her, completely ignoring that she'd said Forbes.

Thanking the obviously compelled humans, she hung up and headed to the bakery to pick up her specialty cake, all the while trying to figure out what she and Klaus could do tonight for a romantic dinner. Showing up at the restaurant was obviously out of the question; Christopher would undoubtedly be there waiting. She still hadn't come up with anything suitably impressive by the time she was standing in line waiting to pick up her order. The bottom dropped out of her stomach when she looked at what was supposed to be a romantic cake with Rome, Paris, and Tokyo written on it. Instead, she was looking a perfectly beautiful heart-shaped confection ruined by some tacky attempt at humor.

"Seriously? 'I've found somebody who does it better than you can'? Is this a joke?"

The woman's expression was very pleasant and very much not there as she replied in a monotone voice, "It's the perfect day to drop your loser boyfriend and get with the man you really want."

Staring at the woman across the counter, Caroline could feel herself about to crack. It was painfully clear that this would not stop. She couldn't plan a beautiful night for herself and the man that she loved without this creepy jackass completely ruining everything. She was in tears by the time she found herself sitting on a park bench and talking on the phone with Klaus. He let her cry and vent as he silently listened –remarkable given the rage she could practically _feel_ coming through her cell phone – and then told her to find a nice coffee shop to relax in for an hour and he would have a lovely surprise at home to make up for all of it.

Though Caroline had her doubts that anything could make up for the disaster the day, hell, the _month_ had turned out to be, she was willing to give Klaus a chance. An hour later, she was gratefully stepping into his open arms, ready to just forget the day had ever happened. He had other plans, though. Pulling her gently by her hand, he began to lead her to the room he'd claimed as his art room.

"Now, I know you've got your heart set on playing human, and I completely respect that. However, I hope you can respect that there are limits to what I'm willing to endure. Someone hurting you and ruining your plans is well past those limits."

In the middle of the floor, now cleared of all Klaus' supplies, knelt Christopher; his hands tied behind his back and a look of terror on his face.

"I've already had some fun, love, as you can see. However, I wanted to show you this so you could enjoy the rest of the evening knowing that he can't interrupt. I've gone ahead and... arranged for some reservations at the restaurant where you had planned on us dinning. I know you may be upset because this is far from the human way of doing things, but it's all on me. None of this was you."

She could easily let him take the hit for this. After all, he had taken it upon himself to vamp-nap Christopher, apparently mentally torture him, and compel them new reservations. That would be denying the fact that, in her anger and frustration, Caroline had known how Klaus would react. She had _wanted_ him to break the 'living human' rule for her. It was selfish, and possibly a bit immature, but...

Almost before she had made the decision to do so, Caroline found herself crouched directly in front of Christopher, staring into his shock-widened eyes, with her hand buried in his chest and wrapped around his heart.

"Living human is _so_ overrated."

Pulling out his heart, she stood and turned back to face Klaus. After staring thoughtfully for a moment, she dropped the now-useless organ, made her way back to him until she could wrap her arms around his neck.

"While I do appreciate how much you've gone through to try and help me tonight, and trust me, you _will_ be thoroughly thanked later, I think we need a change of scenery. How about tomorrow, we get rid of this body, leave the nice landlady with a couple months worth of rent, and blow this Popsicle stand? You can help me figure out how to really live life."

His response, while not verbal, was very much in the affirmative. Laughing as he carried her over his shoulder to their bedroom, Caroline decided that she could always tell all her friends that they made it the entire year. What was a couple of months, really?


End file.
